So when she told me the other day that my approach to living my single life isn't what she thinks is "proactive", I was a little thrown off. She later recanted, stating she didn't mean it how it sounded, but the mark had been left. To fill you in, I told her that I am not spending my life hoping and wishing for someone to come along and sweep me off my feet. That I can't live life and make decisions based on a non-existent person that I think *might* enter my life one day. That I need to live my life for myself and if someone worthy enough, I will make changes as I need to. Apparently that's not the right approach. When I attempted to get some clarification on why it wasn't, I couldn't get a clear answer. Am I not dating enough (note, I don't always share when I go on dates b/c too many family members means too many explanations and if they arent worth more than 1 date, they arent worth mentioning)? What else is it I'm supposed to be doing? Despite pushing for an answer, I got none. Only an apology and that I'm living my life great (uh....).
So it makes my insecure, hopelessly lost brain question, am I living my life so that I will never meet anyone? If I am, what am I supposed to be doing differently? Will I ever meet anyone? The past weeks have been filled with friends getting engaged or finding new love or bragging about how wonderful the love they have is. It's a bit disheartening at times, but I try to keep my chin up and remind myself I did the same thing with my ex when things were great. And that I'm ok being single most of the time. Yes, I'd love to meet someone but should I live my life waiting for that moment??? Anticipating, over analyzing it all, looking at all men thinking are they it? NO!!
So where do I go from here? I need to get out of my head sometimes, and this is one of those times.
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